Life by Reese

My name is Reese. That’s not my real name, of course. But I see myself as a “Reese”. Here’s my story.

I have two children from different men and I have no husband (Noticed how I used ‘and’ instead of ‘but’). My father was in jail for a little over 10 years and is now psychologically damaged. My mother is bipolar and decided to give me to my grandparents. I grew up in different houses. I didn’t have a stable childhood. Passing me around as a child made me the ambiguous and stubborn person that I am today. I am on a constant battle in trying to change this. My personality is one of the reasons why I took up Psychology in college.

No one really liked me during my teenage years because I wasn’t so likeable. Nobody was there to correct my mistakes and guide me through that tricky stage in my life. But I’m lucky I have friends who understand what’s wrong. People that know my story. People who saw ‘me’ unfold right in front of them. People not even trying to scold me of what’s wrong. People that patiently waited for me to find out what’s wrong myself.

I had my first child when I was 17. The father of my eldest child got someone pregnant and I just “gave way”. I didn’t demand for anything because I didn’t want to. So I stopped school and applied at a call center. I worked there for 2 years. And those years were the worse. I forgot my responsibilities as a parent and I can never forgive myself for lost time. I decided I needed to go back to school to give my child and myself a better future. But we had trouble doing that because living with my father was a daily struggle. And the worst day came, when his psychologically unstable mind pushed him to threaten to kill me and his daughter. I was so scared, ran out of the house with nothing with my daughter in my arms and no plan of where to go at all.

We stayed at my boyfriend’s house for a few days and we stayed at my friend’s after that. I was able to save enough money to rent a house. I had a few things. A cooler for the leche flan I sell, a small and defective TV, one mattress, a few pillows, a rice cooker and some kitchen utensils. That’s it. No exaggerations. That was all I had.

I tried to look for more work and I came across working online. I bought a very old laptop which costs 8,000 pesos and started working as a freelance writer. I was able to afford everything I need and was eventually able to transfer to a bigger apartment. And I was even blessed with a healthy and cute baby boy last August 2013. I am happy now. I feel incomplete sometimes because I know me and my parents will never be okay but I didn’t want any pain anymore. I need to choose my battles. Blood is not always thicker than water plus I have my own family to take care off.

I guess the most valuable lesson I could give everyone is that there’s always a way. I always wake up in the morning knowing that I can accomplish everything. I sleep at night with a grateful heart knowing that despite every trial that I’ve been through, I was able to rise out of them strong. Make it a habit to learn something new every day – something new about the world, about the people you love or about yourself.